allys world

where do things go from here??? uphill or down?? more of a struggle or finally a chance to get something i need.....i wont know until it happens...a great guy who gives up on happiness? or maybe one who treats me like crap while im just a fun time? well i say fuck a bunch of that! i want my life back....the one i controlled the one i was happy with. do i not need that? and to anyone who knows my story do i not deserve that? what could possibly hold me back from the life i hope to make for myself? my heart and my head constantly fighting. my fear of trusting people or getting attached because of past experiences.what can i do but sit and wait? tell me what to do please.... :o(

where do things go from here??? uphill or down?? more of a struggle or finally a chance to get something i need.....i wont know until it happens...a great guy who gives up on happiness? or maybe one who treats me like crap while im just a fun time? well i say fuck a bunch of that! i want my life back....the one i controlled the one i was happy with. do i not need that? and to anyone who knows my story do i not deserve that? what could possibly hold me back from the life i hope to make for myself? my heart and my head constantly fighting. my fear of trusting people or getting attached because of past experiences.what can i do but sit and wait? tell me what to do please.... :o(

im on the verge of tears...ive been dumped again....and i really need a hug and a shoulder to cry on....but he just left so im not getting that......it feels like im dying and hurts so bad.....my feelings are raw from days of fighting and crying and i wish it would just stop....why do i always fall for guys so easily....why do i trust in that so much? what the hell is wrong with me that i dont deserve someone to love me back? whatever......

he just left me this message: "Hey baby! I just got on here real quick to tell you i got called into work. Messenger isnt working right now for me and i didnt want to leave you in the dark. I miss you! Hurry and graduate so you can move in! Love you!" Isnt that just so sweet?!?!?!?

he just left me this message: "Hey baby! I just got on here real quick to tell you i got called into work. Messenger isnt working right now for me and i didnt want to leave you in the dark. I miss you! Hurry and graduate so you can move in! Love you!" Isnt that just so sweet?!?!?!?

tell me what i should do guys.....i love this guy so much and he asked me to move in with him the day after graduation...which is in like 2 monthes.....i was so excited when he asked me that i just burst out "yes baby of course i will....." but after he said "will you come live with me....im serious i want you here with me everyday for the reat of my life please? i love you so much." HOW COULD I SAY NO???? honestly i have never been this happy in my entire life...and that scares me bacause i know if things fall apart now i wont be able to pick myself back up for a long time...i graduate really soon i have a guy that swears on his life that he loves me to death and wants to be with me and take care of me forever...he wants to get married and have a baby and thats exactly what i want...and i love him....what should i do guys???? please help me!!!

i should do guys.....i love this guy so much and he asked me to move in with him the day after graduation...which is in like 2 monthes.....i was so excited when he asked me that i just burst out "yes baby of course i will....." but after he said "will you come live with me....im serious i want you here with me everyday for the reat of my life please? i love you so much." HOW COULD I SAY NO???? honestly i have never been this happy in my entire life...and that scares me bacause i know if things fall apart now i wont be able to pick myself back up for a long time...i graduate really soon i have a guy that swears on his life that he loves me to death and wants to be with me and take care of me forever...he wants to get married and have a baby and thats exactly what i want...and i love him....what should i do guys???? please help me!!!

i now offically hate drama....and i guess some people were right when they said all of the drama i caused would turn around and to bite me in the ass...recently as in within the last4 monthes a whole movie has unraveled in my little home-town....ill start with day one----NOVEMBER 12,2005...this was the first time my ex,james, cheated on his girlfriend of almost a year together,with me obviously,and i say almost a year because they are in fact still together---COUPLE WEEKS LATER...december 2nd,2005 2nd time he came to me in the middle of the night....begging me to do it again...loser...anyways he came and picked me up at like 1:30 am in his mustang and took me to his parents office (the hazmat office) and we did our thing for a couple hours.....ABOUT TWO WEEKS LATER...damn if i didnt grow a conscience....i wrote him an email asking him how he could cheat on caty like he was...little did i know she had his password...my bad....after almost being ran off the road by her that night i gave her acouple days to cool off before i rubbed it in her face a little more...but sending her the conversations we had on yahoo messenger which ended in him coming to get me...that got me 2 flat tires and a lot of mad bitches....A COUPLE WEEKS LATER....(i know this is long get over it)james little brothers girlfriend threatens to kick my ass(haha!like she could)while i was sitting in the taco bell drive thru...they actually pulled up next to me to yell at me....fags...after that all got pretty quiet...then came micheal.micheal works for UPS and let me just say they do deliver their packages quite well.....after i got tired of him i got a new cell phone so he wont bother me anymore...lol...then autumn this girl i work with found out who micheal was...opps...apparently he was her older brothers best friend...they played basketball together in high school and such...micheal was 25...yes i like my men older...now back to what i was saying....after micheal it got quiet again....things settled down....then i "met" jeremy...this is where the fun begins. me and jeremy have been together for almost a month...sorta. see (and please dont laugh)ive never met him.he lives in warrenton virginia which is like 2 and a half hours from here...i met him on myspace...dont ask....at which point we both quickly became attached to one anothers company...then the inevitable...the one phrase that always leads to the end....he tells me he loves me....and all i have in my head is WTF DID HE JUST SAY??? first off it was fine....we just talked every night and sent each other cute little messages and such....sweet huh??? not even...last week he disappeared...you know just vanished..i dont know why so i send him one message every day asking him if hes ok and asking if everything is ok...no response...until 2 days ago....2 days ago my world exploded...not like bang! more like KA-FUCKIN'-BOOM!!! i type in myspace into the web address box....the screen to log in comes up so i type in my password as always and click log in....wrong password? maybe i spelt it wrong...so i try again...and again and again....you get the idea....around try 10 im pretty pissed off...so i try to log into yahoo to ask jeremy if his is fucking up...and the same shit happens to yahoo as did myspace....by now im fuckin' angry...i go back to myspace and log in my friend ashleys name...i go to search and type in my name...OMFG! there on my fuckin' myspace is a picture of some old woman with big hair smoking a cigarette....along with about 100 different cuss words from asshole to whore(all refering to me) and a not4e from my "boyfriend" calling my crazy and telling me to get a life because im a whore....i have never been so livid in my life...so i did a search....for his name...on myspace and wanna know what i found???? "jeremy" wasnt jeremy....jeremy had stolen pictures from a guy named joey (who i have talked to about the stolen pics and is a really nice guy...a whore..but still nice)....so i leave a really nasty livid message on "jeremys" myspace cussing him and telling him i hate him....again i get a message telling me im crazy....ok i think i forgot to mention i gave jeremy my password to yahoo and myspace because he wanted to know if i trusted him....ok back on track...so i tell "him" to get a life and to leave me alone for good...him is in quotations b/c it was his ex girlfriend that changed my passwords...and his as it were...... today i recieved this message from jeremy: Ally, it's me Jeremy. First of all i wanted to apologize and say that im SO sorry for what happened. You have to believe me when i say i didn't do that. It was my ex girlfriend Ashley and shes crazy! A week ago she came to my house to see if anything else of hers was over there after i told her that there wasnt. She stops by and obviously while i go to the bathroom she gets your information from my desk and takes the picture of you that i had printed out and put beside my bed. I know, it was stupid of me to keep your information out, but i was planning on calling you this weekend. That's why all of this stuff went down like it did. Please, please believe me when i say that i never wanted it to happen. I didnt want to lose your trust and please believe me when i say that i really want to be with you regardless of how fuckin crazy my ex is. She changed all of my information around as well and changed the passwords to my yahoo and myspace just as she did to yours. She's crazy and thats obvious. I LOVE YOU. Why do you think i went though so much trouble to avoid her? And im so sorry that i didnt have my real pictures up, but i didnt want her finding me because i KNEW that she was looking for me, so thats why i put different ones up. IM SO SORRY! Please. Add me, i didnt make a whole profile about you and not have anyone see it. You are my one and only friend and that's how it will stay. I dont know how long it will be before i get back on messenger because i have to do it all over again just so she wont find me, but please be willing to talk to me and please please find it in your heart to forgive me and realize that i never meant for that to happen. I love YOU, not her. She thinks that she can have me back and she cant. If i wanted her i would be with her. I want YOU. No one else. Please Ally? I love you! I hope to hear from you soon! Love, Jeremy my brain is so scrambled at this point i barely know my own name....so i send a message asking him to explain some hings he left out and to send me pictures of the real him...im waiting for my answer....ill tell you more when i know more...bye guys...

been on here in a while have i? has anything interesting happened? did i miss some life changing little thing that could possibly brighten this black hole of a life i have come to know? i havent talked to my boyfriend in nearly a week....that just isnt right...and not my fault...he seemed to have just disappeared and from things he has told me i am scared out of my mind that i havent heard anything...last thing i remember him saying was " i love you baby...ill talk to you tomorrow...goodnight sweetheart" and now he's just gone??? is something wrong??? is he hurt??? after making plans for next week, when i get to spend the whole weekend with him at his apartment....and we've had those plans for damn near 2 weeks now...i even asked for that whole weekend off....wtf???? and today sucked...i was awakened to the sound of someone honking there horn outside my house...i look out the window and all i can say is "shit!!" apparently at some point earlier this morning my dad had called and while still asleep i answered the phone and told him i would be ready by 10:30 am....what the hell was my head thinking....needless to say i was in no way ready...after i got up and dressed and applied my face i walked out to be greeted by my fauther yelling at me to "hurry up and get in the fucking truck" at which point i was dragged to lexington where i helped disassemble the entire fron end of a car...to replace the one i crunched when i wrecked my car...i left the junk yard as one large black smudge...head-to-fuckin-toe grease...mind you the one thing that bothers me most is getting dirt of any kind on any part of my body or clothing....i was flippin out! then when i get home i am yelled at by my mom that if i dont get my ass to work that i may be fired....apparently i had misreadthe schedule and was two hours late....fuck!!! backing up a couple days.....went bowling wednesday night...where i got hit on....alot...by hot guys....that i wanted to bang....badly...but didnt because i feel loyal to my boyfriend which i dont even know where he is....some really cute redneck guy asked me to come with him out back and strip for him because he saw me and my friend dancing together....lol...we're such whores....not really but we dance like them....well i need to go finish my book report thats due tomorrow so goodnigh guys and have a good one....and a shot of your favorite alcohol...or lite beer...lol...who drinks lite beer? and do they sell that by the keg for sorority houses?

been on here in a while have i? has anything interesting happened? did i miss some life changing little thing that could possibly brighten this black hole of a life i have come to know? i havent talked to my boyfriend in nearly a week....that just isnt right...and not my fault...he seemed to have just disappeared and from things he has told me i am scared out of my mind that i havent heard anything...last thing i remember him saying was " i love you baby...ill talk to you tomorrow...goodnight sweetheart" and now he's just gone??? is something wrong??? is he hurt??? after making plans for next week, when i get to spend the whole weekend with him at his apartment....and we've had those plans for damn near 2 weeks now...i even asked for that whole weekend off....wtf???? and today sucked...i was awakened to the sound of someone honking there horn outside my house...i look out the window and all i can say is "shit!!" apparently at some point earlier this morning my dad had called and while still asleep i answered the phone and told him i would be ready by 10:30 am....what the hell was my head thinking....needless to say i was in no way ready...after i got up and dressed and applied my face i walked out to be greeted by my fauther yelling at me to "hurry up and get in the fucking truck" at which point i was dragged to lexington where i helped disassemble the entire fron end of a car...to replace the one i crunched when i wrecked my car...i left the junk yard as one large black smudge...head-to-fuckin-toe grease...mind you the one thing that bothers me most is getting dirt of any kind on any part of my body or clothing....i was flippin out! then when i get home i am yelled at by my mom that if i dont get my ass to work that i may be fired....apparently i had misreadthe schedule and was two hours late....fuck!!! backing up a couple days.....went bowling wednesday night...where i got hit on....alot...by hot guys....that i wanted to bang....badly...but didnt because i feel loyal to my boyfriend which i dont even know where he is....some really cute redneck guy asked me to come with him out back and strip for him because he saw me and my friend dancing together....lol...we're such whores....not really but we dance like them....well i need to go finish my book report thats due tomorrow so goodnigh guys and have a good one....and a shot of your favorite alcohol...or lite beer...lol...who drinks lite beer? and do they sell that by the keg for sorority houses?

been on here in a while have i? has anything interesting happened? did i miss some life changing little thing that could possibly brighten this black hole of a life i have come to know? i havent talked to my boyfriend in nearly a week....that just isnt right...and not my fault...he seemed to have just disappeared and from things he has told me i am scared out of my mind that i havent heard anything...last thing i remember him saying was " i love you baby...ill talk to you tomorrow...goodnight sweetheart" and now he's just gone??? is something wrong??? is he hurt??? after making plans for next week, when i get to spend the whole weekend with him at his apartment....and we've had those plans for damn near 2 weeks now...i even asked for that whole weekend off....wtf???? and today sucked...i was awakened to the sound of someone honking there horn outside my house...i look out the window and all i can say is "shit!!" apparently at some point earlier this morning my dad had called and while still asleep i answered the phone and told him i would be ready by 10:30 am....what the hell was my head thinking....needless to say i was in no way ready...after i got up and dressed and applied my face i walked out to be greeted by my fauther yelling at me to "hurry up and get in the fucking truck" at which point i was dragged to lexington where i helped disassemble the entire fron end of a car...to replace the one i crunched when i wrecked my car...i left the junk yard as one large black smudge...head-to-fuckin-toe grease...mind you the one thing that bothers me most is getting dirt of any kind on any part of my body or clothing....i was flippin out! then when i get home i am yelled at by my mom that if i dont get my ass to work that i may be fired....apparently i had misreadthe schedule and was two hours late....fuck!!! backing up a couple days.....went bowling wednesday night...where i got hit on....alot...by hot guys....that i wanted to bang....badly...but didnt because i feel loyal to my boyfriend which i dont even know where he is....some really cute redneck guy asked me to come with him out back and strip for him because he saw me and my friend dancing together....lol...we're such whores....not really but we dance like them....well i need to go finish my book report thats due tomorrow so goodnigh guys and have a good one....and a shot of your favorite alcohol...or lite beer...lol...who drinks lite beer? and do they sell that by the keg for sorority houses?

my first and only car i was rather upset...i talked to my boyfriend jeremy after it happened and he BOUGHT me a new car.....he BOUGHT me a 2003 volvo...i mean im gonna marry this boy he is amazing...and he loves me soooo much...i mean he bought me a car...and i love him a great deal...i move in with him in his apartment the day after graduation.....god i love this boy....im keeping him forever!!!

my first and only car i was rather upset...i talked to my boyfriend jeremy after it happened and he BOUGHT me a new car.....he BOUGHT me a 2003 volvo...i mean im gonna marry this boy he is amazing...and he loves me soooo much...i mean he bought me a car...and i love him a great deal...i move in with him in his apartment the day after graduation.....god i love this boy....im keeping him forever!!!

my first and only car i was rather upset...i talked to my boyfriend jeremy after it happened and he BOUGHT me a new car.....he BOUGHT me a 2003 volvo...i mean im gonna marry this boy he is amazing...and he loves me soooo much...i mean he bought me a car...and i love him a great deal...i move in with him in his apartment the day after graduation.....god i love this boy....im keeping him forever!!!

hey guys i was tagged by brandon so im tagging you all....write 6 weird or interseting things about you that no one know then tagg six other people(not me because ive already done it).... heres mine: 1.i am a secret perfectionist...but i try to ignore most of the urges to fix things... 2.i am a mafia princess....i even have a body guard and he drives a black volvo and follows me around... 3.my mom is a lesbian...and so is her girlfriend... 4.im very fucking suprised brandon picked me for this... 5.i wrecked my pretty little celica yesterday...in the park...yea i know shut up.... 6.i used to wrestle for my high school....yes im a girl....yes i wrestled guys...and yes a fucked the captain... heres who im tagging.... rizi surrogate tabootenente estherfu inhe3108ritor and raggedtigeruk

wrecked my car.....totaled it actually...and i have a concussion.....yea....well i think im gonna go talk to my man now....ttyl

i am dating this really hot guy nsmed jeremy...he's 21 and he's so very sweet....lets hope and pray that this works out....i like him alot...and he has me fighting back the butterflys in my stomach...im just so giddy and happy right now....i havent felt like his since well...ever....good night guys...and jeremy if you see this...goodnight sweetheart..you mean the world to me....i wanna meet emma and your parents really soon!

wow i really have gotten behind a bit havent i???i dont even know what my last post said....but im sure it involved some guy ithought was so hot and that i dont even remember....but since im a "whore" i guess it doesnt matter much.....anyways whatever ......bye yall

guess i havent been HERE in a while,huh?well you didnt miss much just a couple really weird dreams that have nothing to do with anyone on here....and a hot new cook at work...he's 17 and his name is travis....SEXY! anyways oh and iwent to tennesse for the weekend where i chilled in the hot tub with my friend while it snowed....really quite the experience...ya'll should try it sometime....i miss jon alot! one of my dreams was about him....the other was about my ex james...we were happy and he kissed me and thats all i remember...then i took this fuckin' freaky ass test to "pridict when you will get married" im still suspicious but the answer scared the crap out of me it said i would marry on August 8,2007...and it predicted who i would marry...(this is the SCARY part) JAMES! first that weird snippet of a dream then that freaky test...coincidence or "god" being a prankster? you decide.....well nighters guys and gurls

Today was Jon's last day at work. Jon is my buddy, my good friend, and my partner in crime at work....We pick on one another so often we hardly notice anymore....In the last two and a half months I have become so very attached to this guy that it makes me wonder...What if he wasnt engaged? What if he could like me enough to want to be with me? Peggy tried...Lol..So hard that it became apparent her idea of how things should be...Every time me and Jon where within 100 feet of one another Peggy would call us her babies and tell us how cute we would look together....I only wish this were true...As much as it feels weird to admit this I do like Jon and on some weird level I love him....Not love love....But in the sense that he was there for me when ever I needed him....Late at night when we talked on the computer....And so often at work...I got hugs and smiles and laughs and so many happy moments that I really envy Jessica (his fiance) because she gets to keep him at the end of the day .... and to him I'll never be more than a friend, a co-worker, and a pain in his ass...Lol....and I wouldnt have it any other way....I love you Jon and I'll miss you so very much......Goodnight Everyone....

ever feel real dumb? like not just typical blonde moment dumb but flat out flat line no brain activity whatsoever dumb....i felt like that earlier today...i let something go way to far and i should have stopped it when it first started happening....you all have no idea what im talking bout and i do not intend on telling you i just needed a place to vent.... in other news my one night stand with the UPS guy made it to its second night....lol...oh wow...never thought that would happen again but it did... so yea...at least he's a sweetheart..my micheal man...my mom thinks hes a little too old for me, i said "hell mom, the number of years a person has been alive doesnt matter as long as you like them!" (p.s. he's only 25!)oh well im happy...'night ya'll.

hello again everyone! the last two days have been rather uneventful...very bored someone entertain me please.....staunton SUX a big one...i get to see micheal today(my UPS man) lol...tha should also be kind of dull seeing as all we will end up doing is having sex all day until i have to go to work.....hmmmm big fun....maybe ill make him play football in the park with me...or drag him to some random place...like he mall or some thing...anyways i have to go get ready now.....seeyabye

got my car back... been driving alot....got my nails done...and been with my friends....made a new friend who just moved here from buffalo, new york shes really nice and smokes a little bud too (her name is angelina)...lol uh spent yesterday blazed....big fun....didnt go to school today because....well i didnt feel like it. and now i have to go to the gov't building to take my sister in law to an appointment she has there....ever wondered if you should be a protitute??? lol...my friend wants to be...not angelina a different one....well bye guys....

i can not believe what i just done....its too bloody weird to be something i would do...my friends maybe but me??? never!...i do NOT usually just go around sleeping with 25 year old UPS delivery guys!...hell i dont even know what the fuck his last name is! and THAT was NOT the package i was expecting from the delivery man was it?? yea im going insane trying to figure out why in the hell i have done this to myself....i dont care how hot or muscular he was (alot!!) or how nice his house was (mansion, baby!!) or how sexy his car was (new black expedition)...I DIDNT MEAN TO DO IT!! opps...bad judgement i my part...anyways until i just sat here to write about my day i thought nothing of what i had done with him...it was absolutly meaningless sex...which is weird for me also i think i just forgot to be a clingy little bitch(una crudele strega) like usual...and instead turned simply into a minx...a wanton...a whore...and even with how sweet and cute he was, i dont really want to ever see him again i got what i wanted and now i am through with him and with this last line i forget he exists...... on to greener pastures and sexier men i suppose.....well then i need some new meat, a few hott blooded lads to satisfy my very high sex drive.....any volenteers???? this sounds remarkably like a singles add...single white female of irish decent looking for sex, nothing more....lol....yes guys i have long had my fill of guys blaming break ups on me....so i have decided not to date but to simply fuck with guys heads (please excuse that dirty pun)...thats what was intended im sure..... anyhow....me and my pals have gotten on quite splendedly lately with all the excitement surrounding this weeks activaties and such....with the return of my friends ex from the ukraine where he fuck countless mail-order-brides i got to seriously kick some ass.....bloodied him up well enough too....because no one fucks with my friends....after that and going back to work to find out that kaitlin (a girl brandon and i have both worked with at some point) is a flaming homosexual...hmmmm....riiiight...*ponders*...well as i was saying i then apparently did things i knew i ought not do but did anyways without a second thought to given to it on my part(per amore di dio!...er sorry thats italian for "for the love of god").....i have had a very strange week.... grazie (thank you) for reading my seemingly endless babble... *~* Lil' Irish Ally Cat*~* P.S. ohh my yes i had almost forgotten!!!! Brandon, i believe i may have once again found my IQ. i must have misplaced it for sometime at your house because strangely when i brought the piece of art work to you (hmmm anon....art work may ne too strong a word...hah...but humor me...but i believe it to be merely a blob a clay shaped into a pot of many small rectangles and half as many coils with his name fashioned into it)back to subject... i started Speaking more...what is the word???....intelligible?...And with a slight accent that i havent had before now.... yes, anyways Signor (sir) Good day!

this new thingy is interesting and i like the new background templates they are sexy! THANK YOU T-BLOG! *~* ALLY - CAT *~*